Thursday, October 19, 2006
~`Depress ~`
i know all along...i just wanna denied the fact...once again i fall in love...but there is a slight different this time.
i dunno how to explain...but then it just came mi straight to the mind to push everything away for her.
haiz...i very confuse oso...i didn know at first until xw and alvin say sth that make mi realise it as well.
everything seems normal to mi but then when now that i think about it, it is not normal...
but then how i feel now is...i dunno...i been trying to say it out but then always back out at the last min...
haha i am a 膽小鬼. It is all okie... but then today...i feel like kana pour wif cold water...
a couple of time...and somehow when i see her talking happily another guy, my god...
The Jealousy feeling is back...and is like it is not reali sth big but...
maybe today i feel so neglected that i reali reali no mood...
i was waiting for the bus 15...to go home while thinking shd i wait or dun wait...
but hu know...the 15 bus just dun wan come...at 10.40pm...i dun wanna wait for 15 le...
it make mi feel like sth playing a joke on mi...so i went wandering around walking my way home.
walk to sunplaza green there and saw a swing...i sit there for like 20mins...still hoping
to recieve a reply but then haiz...i continue walking walking...see a very memorable road....
a road once we coralite race on it...when i reach tampine connector park...
she just came down and wif this guy...the more i feel so depress and i realise i am jealous...ever since sitting
in front of that com...i dunno...i dun like myself...
yrs back, i hated this feeling oso...i reali reali dun like this feeling alot...
i reali dislike that feeling that i reali scared until my tears drop.
slowly i walk to the juction of the path i use to take to sch..haiz...nothing worth for mi to go back le.
went to xin wei void deck to sit...xw they all in game dun wan go out...but i oso dun feel like going hme at that moment. i sit there dunno how long...think back alot things...but then...
at some points...i reali very happy...coz...i nv reali laugh so truthfully in front of a person...
but at the same times...i keep think bout 父債子還...can i reali deserve it not...
thinking back...it all seems i am not fated to deserve certain things.
But then...now, i dunno...i feel so weak...lucky xw and terry come out in the end that stop my thinking bah...
I dunno how it started...at first is becoz...someone reali call my this particular name...that i always hope since primary sch...haha funny right...nw...whatever i do...i keep thinking bout her...i can even play game halfway
and jump out just to reply...it seems so not like mi...for sometime i reali think that msn is onli for decorating
nia...now anyway even in the middle of the slp...some part of mi is waiting...
Though i dunno how she think...but then...i just love to see her smiling face...haha...i dunno y
i didn realise that oso until recently...
Now i dunno whats the next step...
i just hope this jealousy feeling will go away...
i hate it.
i hate it.
i reali reali hate it...
Eugene 1:52 AM
